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22 August 2012 @ 01:16 am
Asshattery deluxe  
Back in the day, I tried out various Grand Theft Auto games for the ridiculous gangster antics. I never got very far. I had to get through too many story missions to unlock any suitable playground, and the difficulty ramped up too fast to be any fun for someone with minimal skills at fast twitch aiming with a controller.

During our traditional August Week of Nothing, the spousal unit convinced me to try out Saints Row the Third. It totally was the glorious asshole game I'd always wanted.

Saints Row the Third is an action movie playground that keeps on handing out the toys. You get confronted with some giant overpowered pain in the ass, and then score it as a mission reward a short while later. You accrue more and more cash to go after that next weapon upgrade or power-up dangling just out of your reach - and at max level, you can eliminate those pesky concerns about your health and ammo supply. Experience is constantly handed out for driving on the wrong side of the road, near misses, wheelies, and other typical sandbox antics. There are minigames involving mass destruction and essentially reenacting Ow, My Balls. Checkpoints are generous, and death only costs a pittance of cash. Apart from a couple of early rough spots where the need to KILL FAST KILL MORE is hammered home, the learning curve is encouraging and friendly. The game is well on the easy side, but I like that.

Plot? Who cares? It's enough to facilitate more and more great set pieces to race and annihilate your way through - including some welcome surprises, like a particular computer simulation - and it involves characters with entertaining quirks and interactions. And it starts with you airlifting a bank safe, hanging off said safe to shoot more bad guys, skydiving out of an airplane, then jumping back into the same airplane because there's yet more asskicking to be had. You can redo your character's appearance - gender, voice, and all - at any plastic surgery center, which plays a fittingly absurd role as well. Games with serious intent tend to fail it for me in myriad ways. It's refreshing to play one that only cares about bringing the ludicrosity.

I also finished another awesome awful fan project - Cao Ren and Xiahou Yuan's Alphabet of Manliness. Because the world totally needed a set of testosterone-soaked Dynasty Warriors alphabet cards, and of course I had to step up to the task.
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Kanye West - Power
Donessdonesschen on August 22nd, 2012 06:42 am (UTC)
Ha! Saints Row the Third was so ridiculous and fun lol, did you see one of my really old LJ posts where I posted screenshots of my dude running around the streets naked? XDDD

A colleague let me borrow his GTA4, I played about 4 hours of it and just got bored ._.
The Heavy Metal Matador: Naked Timerydain on August 23rd, 2012 01:46 pm (UTC)
I remember that! Streaking is fun - especially that assassination request where I lured out that prudish old bat and bludgeoned her to death with the Penetrator. XD
Skurtchasor: UR MOMskurtchasor on August 23rd, 2012 10:25 pm (UTC)
Have you watched Red Cliff yet? Because (partly thanks to you) I totally expect Xiahou Yuan to show up during Xiao Qiao's final tea ceremony and scream out "Bros before hos, cuz!"
The Heavy Metal Matador: Ren/Yuan Gay Apparelrydain on August 26th, 2012 10:10 pm (UTC)
I did see that, and I forgot to reply to your related entry. I remember wishing that the Western cut had been heavier on the political machinations that didn't make it in from the original release. But I liked Sun Shang Xiang's role as spy and mapmaking wizard, Gan Xing's big boom boom, and generally seeing Three Kingdoms stuff on the big screen. (Which is also why I enjoyed what I've seen of the 2010 show, even though it has Shitty Asshole Novel Cao Ren rather than the Awesome Historical Version - and his half-naked buff body doesn't hurt matters either. :P) And I'm not surprised that you got a kick out of one of your women taking down the whole operation. Red Cliff came over to the State Theater when my Yuan bro fanon was still in its infancy (or nonexistent - I can't remember if I was into fanfic at that time), so he didn't factor into that scene. But I'm glad I could vicariously wreck enhance the experience for you and stuff.