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18 December 2010 @ 03:00 pm
KOEI giveth, and KOEI taketh a dump in my stocking  
So the Dynasty Warriors 7 character reveals have been trickling in. There's some good, some meh, some people I don't give a rat's about. And some that are truly amazing. Look here - or hold off for a bit if you don't want to spoiler the lulz.

Lu Meng has never looked this fantastic.

Xiahou Yuan learned to dress himself.

This week - Cao Ren. Seeing as how the design team knocked the rest of my Triumvirate of Manliness out of the park, I was hella fucking psyched.

I believe the following photo essay speaks for itself.

What I expected to get some reasonable approximation of:

What KOEI deigned to pinch out the ass end of its Play-Doh Fug Factory:

The armor's not bad - and actually quite awesome after some Photoshop surgery to fix the turnip torso pinhead misproportions. It's the face that kills me. WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYY

'Nuff said.

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my vault.
Current Mood: crankycranky
Current Music: Coheed and Cambria - Bye Bye Beautiful
Doness: Sad Dun is saddonesschen on December 18th, 2010 10:02 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, but all I can think of is, "I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!" DX
The Heavy Metal Matador: Frylockrydain on December 19th, 2010 02:16 am (UTC)
I'll be calling him Fuggernaut unless he redeems himself somehow.
sissyhiyahsissyhiyah on December 19th, 2010 03:03 am (UTC)
I know you're disappointed, but this is quite possibly the most entertaining thing I've ever read. Er, looked at. Er...whatever. You get what I mean.
The Heavy Metal Matador: Kuribo's Shoerydain on December 19th, 2010 03:12 am (UTC)
Yay! Glad I could amuse. If my manservice is going to get flushed down the crapper, I'd better get a good laugh out of my nerd rage. Image macro meltdowns are strangely cathartic.
Skurtchasor: UR MOMskurtchasor on December 23rd, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC)
It looks like Scruffles finally found out where Xiahao Dun was getting his hair done. Fantastic indeed.

What the hell is up with Jin? It looks like Sima Yi (who I assume to be the one in the middle) used his Powers of Evil to transport a bunch of lame-ass Castlevania and Devil May Cry cosplayers back in time, and Solid Snake ended up being caught up in the vortex.

Sorry that Koei shat on your manservice cereal. If you need me, I'll be in my bunk.
The Heavy Metal Matador: Son of MacGyverrydain on December 24th, 2010 12:48 am (UTC)
Jin is the ripoff Twilight kingdom. Bladestorm got lost in Nadsylvania on its way to ancient China. Lu Meng and Zhou Tai have enough Belmont in their designs that I'm looking forward to using them for sparklepire pwnination. Then again, I might have to turn them against Zhou Yu.

(Ganked that from capslock_koei, the most fabulous place on earth)

All I have to say about Sima Yi is I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT. Methinks that has to be iconified when I get back to town and my computer.

Sympathies are much appreciated, thanks. I'll be sure to bring some Zhen Ji cosplayers with me.