The Heavy Metal Matador (rydain) wrote,
The Heavy Metal Matador
rydain

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Rome

I came. I saw. I splurged.

The Vatican Museum is pretty nifty when presented by an Irish art history student who points out all manner of random sordid details. Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel under threat of death, and he worked in various proverbial flipped birds to the church leadership. In the sun and moon panel, God is literally mooning the audience. Michelangelo claimed God was wearing white pants. A loud and cranky papal assistant appears in the lowest level of hell with donkey ears and a snake biting his sensitive area. I could do without the crowds of asswipes who feel the need to shove their way to the beginning of a line whether they belong there or not.

The Forum is great. I have assorted ruin photos that manage to exclude the tourist hordes and various construction barricades around the parts that are still being excavated. We didn't get to see the Colosseum because it closed down early and nobody bothered to inform our tour guide, but eh, oh well.

I ate way too much today. At least it was pesto.

Catacombs feel like the under the well dungeon from Majora's Mask (sans redeads, thankfully). The Church of Bones is creepier because its displays of real human bones include actual mummified bodies.

There's a convent that opens its gate once a year. In the gate is a keyhole framing a view of St. Peter's Basilica down a perfect corridor of shrubbery. I expected to see some life-size playing cards singing about painting the roses red. It is that gorgeously surreal.

As to the splurge...extra pocket money + not having purchased a new bag or wallet for several years + an entire row of designer stores to poke around in = Prada schwag. It's black, understated, and seems to come with a lifetime workmanship guarantee.

And now we're back in Wiesbaden chilling out before driving down to a castle to spend the night. Ogre and I get the turret room. Yay. I'm obviously poking around the internets right now, and I discovered that the Dynasty Warriors 6 bomb has officially landed in the form of scans of all the playable character pictures. There are some that look good (Zhou Tai), but overall, the redesigns are meh to epic fail. I guess the art director has their own private magic mushroom farm or something, or they need a hardcore wet noodle beating because they flagrantly stomp all over my cardinal rule of not fixing what ain't broke.

Cao Ren, once a calm and serious character, looks like a pissed-off drunk who lost a fight with a garbage can and then got robotized by Dr. Wily. Sun Quan shaved his beard and started blow drying with product. I guess his pimp robes are too much to ask for, let alone the platform hat of tactical genius. Xiahou Yuan resembles an Alpha Beta Bro Magnon 5 years and countless alleat buffets past his prime. Wei Yan is a bionic lizard. Pang Tong got gene spliced into some moth yeti beastamajig. And I still hate that Xiahou Dun's natural-looking long hair was razor layered into a fashionable emo boy shag. As to Zhang He, at least his clothes match (which is better than we can say for his DW5 nightmare getup), but bitis_gabonica might want to keep that cranial ice pick handy before taking a peek.
Tags: general bullshit
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