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07 November 2007 @ 02:10 am
I came. I saw. I splurged.

The Vatican Museum is pretty nifty when presented by an Irish art history student who points out all manner of random sordid details. Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel under threat of death, and he worked in various proverbial flipped birds to the church leadership. In the sun and moon panel, God is literally mooning the audience. Michelangelo claimed God was wearing white pants. A loud and cranky papal assistant appears in the lowest level of hell with donkey ears and a snake biting his sensitive area. I could do without the crowds of asswipes who feel the need to shove their way to the beginning of a line whether they belong there or not.

The Forum is great. I have assorted ruin photos that manage to exclude the tourist hordes and various construction barricades around the parts that are still being excavated. We didn't get to see the Colosseum because it closed down early and nobody bothered to inform our tour guide, but eh, oh well.

I ate way too much today. At least it was pesto.

Catacombs feel like the under the well dungeon from Majora's Mask (sans redeads, thankfully). The Church of Bones is creepier because its displays of real human bones include actual mummified bodies.

There's a convent that opens its gate once a year. In the gate is a keyhole framing a view of St. Peter's Basilica down a perfect corridor of shrubbery. I expected to see some life-size playing cards singing about painting the roses red. It is that gorgeously surreal.

As to the splurge...extra pocket money + not having purchased a new bag or wallet for several years + an entire row of designer stores to poke around in = Prada schwag. It's black, understated, and seems to come with a lifetime workmanship guarantee.

And now we're back in Wiesbaden chilling out before driving down to a castle to spend the night. Ogre and I get the turret room. Yay. I'm obviously poking around the internets right now, and I discovered that the Dynasty Warriors 6 bomb has officially landed in the form of scans of all the playable character pictures. There are some that look good (Zhou Tai), but overall, the redesigns are meh to epic fail. I guess the art director has their own private magic mushroom farm or something, or they need a hardcore wet noodle beating because they flagrantly stomp all over my cardinal rule of not fixing what ain't broke.

Cao Ren, once a calm and serious character, looks like a pissed-off drunk who lost a fight with a garbage can and then got robotized by Dr. Wily. Sun Quan shaved his beard and started blow drying with product. I guess his pimp robes are too much to ask for, let alone the platform hat of tactical genius. Xiahou Yuan resembles an Alpha Beta Bro Magnon 5 years and countless alleat buffets past his prime. Wei Yan is a bionic lizard. Pang Tong got gene spliced into some moth yeti beastamajig. And I still hate that Xiahou Dun's natural-looking long hair was razor layered into a fashionable emo boy shag. As to Zhang He, at least his clothes match (which is better than we can say for his DW5 nightmare getup), but bitis_gabonica might want to keep that cranial ice pick handy before taking a peek.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Skurtchasorskurtchasor on November 7th, 2007 02:56 am (UTC)
Whoa, it's like Dynasty Warriors May Cry or something.

Some of those are downright horrendous, but it looks like most of my favorites didn't suffer too badly (although what THE HELL is up with Yue Ying?). I rather like the new Zhen Ji, now move along and pay no attention to the fan service in her second picture.
mire_ilramire_ilra on November 7th, 2007 05:00 am (UTC)
Sounds like you guys are having fun! Where else are you going/have you been?
The Freak in the Gas Mask: Sima Yi/Zhang He/Xu Chu OT3!bitis_gabonica on November 7th, 2007 01:17 pm (UTC)
(Reposted to fix some of the stupid.)

I was dropping by to leave a random "Im in ur journals leavin mah comments" but I see there is a new post! As for what I was originally going to say was I'm sorry that I didn't get to you sooner about bon voyage and all that good stuff but it's obvious you all have gotten there safely so that's good. That said, enjoy the beer & wine, and good times! Sounds like fun.

OK. Now that that's said, DW6. Holy Gods, I don't know what to do. Some of the designs make me cry in pain, others in relief. Zhang He's outfit...Maybe it's just my current mood of "most male things = appeals to personal aesthetic" but it's actually more reasonable than I feared and STILL better than those fucking butterfly wings. We're still not talking DW3 levels of good fashion sense, but the major gripe I have with him is his new spear-thing. DO NOT WANT. I will miss those talons so much. I like Sima Yi's claws- very fitting- but Zhang He still needs his swordy-claws. Srsly. (All of this considered, hey, it's me, I'll always find something to make a snarky comment on.)

I'll reserve the icepick for how much they de-Splendeded Ma Chao the Splendid. Normally, I'm a Wei boy, but since Ma Chao is all about the horses I've got a soft spot for him. And they took all of his bling away. And Xiahou Dun's shag haircut. My overall gripe is that everyone seems to have giant-bladed polearms. That's so boring, and the ridiculous, ineffective, fantastical blade shapes are so overblown Final Fantasy/That Disney game with the kid with the big feet and bigger key...It's the sort of thing that makes me want to injure myself with the PS2. I know it's a fantasy game with fantasy weapons (c'mon, laser beams? heheheh) but part of the appeal for me, back in the day, was that they kept some of the exaggeration to a more reasonable level. Does that make any sense?

Feel free to kick me for leaving a novel for you. I totally want to geek out about this with people. I also just woke up so I'm dumber than average at the moment so typos, redundancy, and all that is probably pretty prevalent.
The Heavy Metal Matador: Calvin Dines in Hellrydain on November 19th, 2007 12:17 am (UTC)
Dude, no complaints about novel-length DW character chat here. I was totally looking forward to geeking out about the designs with you. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply.

I think I get what you mean about reasonable exaggeration. Back in the day, the "normal" weapons looked realistic and the fantasy weapons were fun in the "what would happen if someone attacked with a flute or fan or claws" sense. It wasn't just a pile of really ridiculous-looking blades and pointy things.

I'm not fond of Ma Chao's redesign, either. He's not the same without all his pretty gold dragons.

People on the Koei Warriors boards have been uploading tons of cut scenes and gameplay videos. Here's the full set of Sima Yi's. (This is technically spoilerific, but it didn't spoil much for me because I don't speak Japanese and I know the DW storylines pretty well.) His claws look gorgeously evil. Cao Ren's Gutsman suit clanks, which amuses me to no end. He still has those day after a bender under-eye bags, though. I was hoping that would just be a quirk of the concept art. Bleh. Cao Pi and Zhang He are in here as well.
The Freak in the Gas Maskbitis_gabonica on November 23rd, 2007 03:06 pm (UTC)
No problem; I've been sucking it hard with responding to folks myself. And that's awesome that you don't mind my geeking, long-winded though it is. (Goddamn, I can't type for shit today, 73 WPM downgraded to, uh, 2 WPM...)

Yes, exactly. Beating the snot out of someone with feathers or a flute is an awesome concept. Fun. LAZERS. And so on- but these unwieldy, goofy blades that would get lodged in someone's head and then-- not come out. Meanwhile some peon stabs you in the gut and it's over, all thanks to your fruity spear-sword-clusterfuck thing.

Ma Chao needs moar bling. And a horse.

(I fecking hate this laptop sometimes- it keeps highlighting random text and then bahleeting it when I try to type, the damn thing.) That Sima Yi video makes me so unbelievably happy. He's so gay. It totally makes my day ♥ And the OMG SPOILER in the end? Comedy gold. Guess Zhang He's gonna be his queen? Clanky suit is awesome. Oh- speaking of Gutsman- have you seen the "Gutsman's Ass" video?
The Heavy Metal Matador: Whizzerrydain on November 23rd, 2007 03:53 pm (UTC)

No, I had not seen inescapable Gutsman's Ass. That was a riot.

Apparently Cao Ren's pokey stick is just a halberd (similar to four other characters') and he doesn't use his shield for anything. Bah. On the other hand, I saw some gameplay footage in which he has some nice range, coverage, and smashy smashy attacks. If he can't be football playing Mega Man, at least that's a reasonable compromise, even though the pokey stick is basically a Kingdom Hearts-sized fork. It is amusing to watch. IRON CHEF...and the ingredient for today is people.

And speaking of Cao Ren gameplay, I finally started recording my chaos runs. There's no Lu Bu in this one, but I will get video evidence of him being stomped to death at some point. I already linked to it elsewhere, but here it goes again just because.
The Freak in the Gas Mask: Zoser- OMG WHUTbitis_gabonica on November 25th, 2007 11:35 pm (UTC)
Isn't that video amazing?

Tch, everyone in this flippin' installment has a damned polearm. Fruity polearms at that. Good for bad jokes...hur hur hur...But somehow I can see a halberd suiting him. Sounds like they did a decent job with it. Iron Chef--I lol'd.

STOMP LU BU AND BRING ME VIDEO FOOTAGE. So I can rub my hands together and cackle with evil glee!
The Heavy Metal Matador: E-Peenerrydain on November 26th, 2007 01:46 am (UTC)
You just commented on my gameplay video, correct? If so, I'm totally adding you to my friends list. Hooray.

That particular run was tense because I almost died thanks to Fatty Wario's cheap cornhole and my ensuing flustered mess-ups. I thought the disaster recovery made for interesting video and I was quite happy with the other 90% of my gameplay, so I decided to go with that take. I didn't feel like playing much at all this weekend because that level of tension sort of burned me out, but I picked it back up the other day and pulled off some amazing tricks in practice. The video itch is returning.
The Freak in the Gas Mask: Kisame- HATS!!!bitis_gabonica on November 26th, 2007 02:00 am (UTC)
Indeed I did! I haven't uploaded any videos, just have a crapload of weird shit on my favorites list. I'm biding my time, though.

Chaos mode is nuts. It's a lot of fun, but I get worn out on it fast. I remember tearing through Chen Cang, I believe- that, or Fan Castle, not anything too difficult, blazing through there on Red Hare, and Sir was sitting there watching like WTF, dude, that grunt almost killed j00. Absofuckinglutely crazy. But fun. Looking forward to more gaming vids.
The Heavy Metal Matador: Calvin Dines in Hellrydain on November 26th, 2007 02:15 am (UTC)
Warriors Orochi chaos mode is more forgiving because there are health drops, including giant meat hunks and full recovery jars, and you can restore health by fighting near allies, switching out characters, and slapping people with a Drain-imbued weapon. You still have to be careful, though, especially when running solo. When I practice, I treat dropped items as freebies. Sure, I'll pick up a jar or buff, but I don't play with the expectation that a pile of health or musou is right around the corner. Recovery seems to be rarer at higher star levels, too. Wei 6-X is 4-star, and it didn't leave me a single health drop when I ran it for video. I saw a bunch of speed shoes and musou jars, some defense armor, and a couple of axes, but that was all.

I'm very much looking forward to sharing Lu Bu's stomptastic defeat with you.
zerielzeriel on November 7th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
Ohgod. what did they do to my Sun Quan.

The Heavy Metal Matador: Frylockrydain on November 8th, 2007 06:09 pm (UTC)
They let Sun Ce give him a makeover. Yahooooo! I'm going to totally cramp my bro's style!
zerielzeriel on November 8th, 2007 10:27 pm (UTC)
The Sun Quan in the back of my head is wearing that costume, flying back as though killed, except his death message is "Ow! My style!"
aitai on November 7th, 2007 11:04 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA, did you see that Zhou Yu borrowed Xiao Qiao's boots from DW3...that amused me ^____^

I hate the new Sun Quan...and buster beetle...jesus, what happened to him !?

;_____; Instead of making Yue Ying fragile and non-badass...can we PLEEZ import Ginchiyo and have her teach 3-kingdoms Chinese women how to kick some ass?!!!!
The Heavy Metal Matador: Calvin Dines in Hellrydain on November 8th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
Zhou Yu wants to be a disco doll. Uh uh uh uh stayin' alive! Stayin' alive!

I totally agree with your other reactions. Sun Quan is supposed to be the pimp daddy of Wu, not some ill-conceived hair model. As to Cao Ren...at least his R2-D2 getup goes with his entire DE-FENSE emphasis, and they didn't make him pretty or HAWT or show-off badass, but I'm bummed that he's strung out and angry and all my favorite nicknames don't go with his outfit any more. I'm going to have to call him Kilroy or Trash Can Louie or Dumpster the Clown. Let's hope the baggy-eyed snarl isn't representative of how he actually looks in the game.

I will admit to liking Yue Ying's design because it's cute without being in you face sexy and it looks like something from a Final Fantasy game, but I don't think it's particularly in character. I'd love to see Yue Ying in something like an armored leather apron with heavy boots and gloves - basically what I'd imagine a female Cid of Final Fantasy IV wearing. It would make sense on the battlefield and play up the inventor aspect of her character. I'll contribute some money to the Ginchiyo Importing Fund. Ginchiyo is made of win.
(Deleted comment)
The Heavy Metal Matador: Unitardrydain on November 8th, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC)
Is your icon Simon from the land of chalk drawings? That takes me back. As a little kid, I watched that show pretty much daily.