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29 May 2005 @ 11:32 pm
Because I can go there...and I do  
Hey kids! It's time for Uncle G-funk's Terrible, Horrible, No Good Dynasty Warriors Fanfic! This is short and work safe, but it is very purposefully doofy, so I cut it. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Me...Wei Yan. Me...so horny. Xing Cai...teh hotness. She...pregnant. Zhang Fei...kick ass. Maury...show. Me...babydaddy. Pay...child support. Me...sad.

(For those unfamiliar with the series: Xing Cai is Zhang Fei's daughter.)
 
 
Current Mood: sillysilly
 
 
 
sima_zhongda on May 30th, 2005 03:29 pm (UTC)
Comedy gold. xD;;;
The Heavy Metal Matador: southparkrydain on May 30th, 2005 04:40 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I thought you'd be amused by that... ^__________^

I started a potentially horrendous one involving Xu Zhu and Dian Wei. (While playing DW5, I remarked that Xu Zhu's expression of sadness after Dian Wei died seemed rather homoerotic...and Randy told me not to use homoerotic and Tubby in the same sentence...which really made me want to create something that would break his brain...) But I like Dian Wei too much to make it as godawful as it could possibly be. (I prefer to think that if he were TEH GHEY, he'd have better taste in men. Besides, if I tried to write about Tubby y helo thar buttsecks, I'd probably fall off the chair laughing and be unable to finish.) It should still be worth a giggle or two, though... =P
sima_zhongda on May 30th, 2005 05:15 pm (UTC)
Oh jeebus xD

I have to admit, that would be entirely too hysterical...Incredibly disturbing but definitely hysterical.
Admiral Biyotcharafel on May 30th, 2005 07:48 pm (UTC)
That's the best DW fanfic I've ever read. *applause*
The Heavy Metal Matador: southparkrydain on May 30th, 2005 08:00 pm (UTC)
Hehehe...thanks! This journal is a woodle-free zone... =P
Admiral Biyotcharafel on May 30th, 2005 09:55 pm (UTC)
Thank god for that. *shudders*
The Heavy Metal Matador: southparkrydain on May 30th, 2005 10:13 pm (UTC)
I'm tempted to put that in my user info.

And I have to ask...have you ever come across any good DW fanfic? There was a silly one on fanfiction.net about a bunch of the characters going to a restaurant and inadvertently trashing the place, killing half the customers, and leaving horrific farts in the bathroom, and I liked it because it gave me mental images reminiscent of a well-done comedic manga like Ranma 1/2, but I wasn't impressed with pretty much all the rest that I looked at. Much of it was "Hi I'm In Sixth Graed And This Is My Frist Story!!! ~~~omgkawaiiiii" There was a Xiahou Dun x Zhen Ji that had decent writing and a good setup, but the pacing was awkward (they went from spitting at each other to getting weird warm fuzzies WAAAAAY too quickly) and I hated the characterizations. (He was a pissy and rather sexist pig. She was a bitch. What a couple to root for, eh? And she fought in high heels. OoooKAY.) There was another one about Gan Ning and Sun Shang Xiang's "accident", which also had some potential, but it seemed to fall flat after the opening scenes and I haven't bothered to see what happened.

Funnily enough, one of the best fics I've read was written about none other than the Baby-sitters Club. A bunch of people from the now defunct Fametracker boards collaborated on something that, if it weren't for the snark, could be mistaken for an actual super special. I was seriously impressed.
Admiral Biyotcharafel on May 31st, 2005 01:21 am (UTC)
I have to say that I haven't come across much DW fanfic that's worth anyone's time (and FF.net search function is down, so I can't even link you to the stuff that's worth a few minutes. Bother.) I don't read the random randomness fics or the AUs, so there's every possibility I missed something good. I'll link you to my recs once I can get to 'em.