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19 March 2005 @ 10:17 pm
Talk about killing the mood  
A while back, I came across some snippets of an unintentionally hilarious fanfic. All you really need to know about it is that the wording was generally dignified and flowery, but when it came time to reference male genitalia, the author chose the term "woodle". Considering that this term appeared multiple times, I doubt it was a typo. I can't remember what the fic was about, but such a doofy word right smack in the middle of all that lofty language was the rough equivalent of this:

A romantic setting...relaxing music playing...a handsome warrior and a beautiful woman gazing into each other's eyes...

Sproing! Whiz! Bloop! Zowie!

Wooldoor Sockbat springs forth from the warrior's pants.

Hey kids! *blink blink* Looks like you're about to have some fun...

He removes the lid from his butt and pulls out a string of condom packets.

Don't forget to use protection!

Zooooom

I, uh, got the lining fabric for the surcoat cut out and Fray Checked. All the seams will be inside the garment entirely or bound, but otherwise, the pieces would unravel just sitting around waiting to be sewn, so I consider it a necessary step when dealing with anything that frays like crazy. Yes, that's all I've done today so far. It took me a while because lining fabric is a real bizniatch to lay down smoothly. I need to get my ass up and off the computer to make the trim and collar patterns and possibly start working with the fabric for those as well. They're basically skinny satin rectangles, and they need to be interfaced, so they'll be much easier to wrangle. Satin behaves very well if you can apply fusible interfacing to it first.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Spiderbait - Black Betty
 
 
 
Victoria Maeve: jthm // what the // susan weisesyncopated_time on March 20th, 2005 04:09 am (UTC)
Now, to be fair I do occasionally waffle on an appropriate term for male genitalia when writing a serious or semi-serious piece. However I don't think the term 'woodle' has ever made it into the running. o.O

Woodle... it sounds like some sort of snack food. "Try Woodles! The crispy, crunchy snack treat that satisfies the whole family!" ...yikes.
susumu333susumu333 on March 20th, 2005 08:48 am (UTC)
It's crispy and crunchy???????
Dang... might want to see a doctor about that!
Satisfying the whole family... I'm not gonna touch that with a 10 foot pole.
The Heavy Metal Matador: southparkrydain on March 20th, 2005 06:55 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's perfectly understandable...but I'm sure that you waffle between at least somewhat dignified terms and know how to spell them correctly, too. From what I know of the romance novel world (hey...when you're thirteen and starting to get those funny feelings in your pants, they're simultaneously hilarious and...fun to read), "manhood" and "hardness" (or "hard maleness") seemed to be popular choices.

Woodles could be a cereal as well. Of course, the box would have to feature a cheerful buck-toothed beaver and a giant log.
Assassin Weaselcrackferret on March 20th, 2005 05:26 am (UTC)
I have found that fanfic can very frequently be... really, really weird. :: shudder :: There's some weird stuff out there on the internet.
Admiral Biyotcharafel on March 20th, 2005 09:53 pm (UTC)
Wait wait, there was another reference to "woodle" besides the Zhou Tai X Mary Sue? XD What is the world of fanfic coming to? You must tell me where you saw this.

PH33R THE WOODLE!
The Heavy Metal Matador: southparkrydain on March 21st, 2005 06:10 am (UTC)
Ummmm...it was actually the one you mentioned. XD I just didn't want to be too specific because it was a locked entry and all.